yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
