I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
