Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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