my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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