Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
