If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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