Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
