I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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