Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy

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  (586): We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy http://tfl.nu/9kor
  Replies (3) Good night (1482) Bad night (502)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I wish they made sweatshirts for legs

  (1-602): View more from Arizona

  you mean pants?

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  (602): I wish they made sweatshirts for legs (1-602): you mean pants? http://tfl.nu/ceop
  Replies (38) Good night (8660) Bad night (833)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"

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  (847): i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong" http://tfl.nu/catg
  Replies (31) Good night (5935) Bad night (896)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny

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  (614): her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny http://tfl.nu/5yjp
  Replies (38) Good night (919) Bad night (4838)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk

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  (617): it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk http://tfl.nu/xjgo
  Replies (4) Good night (1328) Bad night (2486)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.

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  (703): Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress. http://tfl.nu/zjlr
  Replies (7) Good night (2546) Bad night (1018)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.

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  (610): She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her. http://tfl.nu/io76
  Replies (10) Good night (1033) Bad night (2499)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.

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  (570): On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me. http://tfl.nu/8dr9
  Replies (6) Good night (2703) Bad night (551)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.

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  (801): Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month. http://tfl.nu/irqs
  Replies (12) Good night (2010) Bad night (1153)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.

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  (412): I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day. http://tfl.nu/3m26
  Replies (4) Good night (550) Bad night (770)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."

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  (608): I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory." http://tfl.nu/0nol
  Replies (7) Good night (2464) Bad night (499)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward

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  (414): btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward http://tfl.nu/opuz
  Replies (3) Good night (499) Bad night (276)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero

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  (425): Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero http://tfl.nu/rxr0
  Replies (4) Good night (838) Bad night (231)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.

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  (847): My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital. http://tfl.nu/g98t
  Replies (3) Good night (1154) Bad night (344)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss

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  (734): But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss http://tfl.nu/ju7w
  Replies (1) Good night (573) Bad night (227)

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