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• (805): View more from California

  why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night

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  19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,

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• (914): View more from New York

  shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship

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• (510): View more from California

  but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?

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• (646): View more from New York

  I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.

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• (315): View more from New York

  If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.

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