why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.