Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
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I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
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Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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