You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
