Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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