Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.