Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
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All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
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Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption