Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.