Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed

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  (540): Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed http://tfl.nu/7wu4
  Replies (30) Good night (805) Bad night (4010)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing

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  (774): i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing http://tfl.nu/cwrn
  Replies (2) Good night (755) Bad night (4087)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive

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  (609): imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive http://tfl.nu/r061
  Replies (50) Good night (4226) Bad night (1128)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.

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  (469): Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels. http://tfl.nu/rynp
  Replies (10) Good night (5417) Bad night (1320)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She tied me up with her honor cords...

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  (608): She tied me up with her honor cords... http://tfl.nu/y0v2
  Replies (29) Good night (11278) Bad night (1165)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.

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  (501): Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check. http://tfl.nu/gtpb
  Replies (12) Good night (1056) Bad night (5362)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.

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  (704): He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza. http://tfl.nu/a4a2
  Replies (8) Good night (1126) Bad night (2917)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...

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  (780): Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it... http://tfl.nu/howp
  Replies (10) Good night (2996) Bad night (734)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.

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  (715): I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help. http://tfl.nu/ztsu
  Replies (3) Good night (1438) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.

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  (206): The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again. http://tfl.nu/xffh
  Replies (5) Good night (1339) Bad night (641)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.

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  (902): Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure. http://tfl.nu/e9kb
  Replies (9) Good night (2089) Bad night (513)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears

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  (616): I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears http://tfl.nu/z9kz
  Replies (12) Good night (749) Bad night (963)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.

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  (605): Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat. http://tfl.nu/bfhd
  Replies (6) Good night (861) Bad night (435)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.

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  (314): So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body. http://tfl.nu/xsc0
  Replies (3) Good night (419) Bad night (838)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.

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  (727): You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest. http://tfl.nu/2kj8
  Replies (4) Good night (1130) Bad night (361)

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