Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo