Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly

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  (313): my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly http://tfl.nu/cj2d
  Replies (39) Good night (915) Bad night (10216)
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  (951): View more from California

  I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.

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  (951): I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him. http://tfl.nu/aa9y
  Replies (34) Good night (3295) Bad night (4910)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear

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  (610): connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear http://tfl.nu/s27e
  Replies (22) Good night (3102) Bad night (766)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid

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  (509): im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid http://tfl.nu/xma9
  Replies (48) Good night (7742) Bad night (768)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself

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  (204): Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself http://tfl.nu/03x0
  Replies (9) Good night (1031) Bad night (3688)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night

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  (785): Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night http://tfl.nu/utdq
  Replies (1) Good night (2213) Bad night (803)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity

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  (215): Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity http://tfl.nu/eokb
  Replies (5) Good night (1892) Bad night (752)
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  (347): View more from New York

  So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.

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  (347): So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me. http://tfl.nu/ap85
  Replies (6) Good night (1742) Bad night (591)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now

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  (403): Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now http://tfl.nu/l7gb
  Replies (11) Good night (3599) Bad night (1057)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.

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  (208): Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch. http://tfl.nu/hfll
  Replies (6) Good night (805) Bad night (1471)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me

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  (+44): They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me http://tfl.nu/sbg9
  Replies (3) Good night (863) Bad night (373)
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  (760): View more from California

  The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter

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  (760): The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter http://tfl.nu/uanv
  Replies (6) Good night (978) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Not the worst first impression I've experienced.

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  (724): Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face. (1-724): Not the worst first impression I've experienced. http://tfl.nu/reln
  Replies (3) Good night (678) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.

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  (512): I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again. http://tfl.nu/arot
  Replies (5) Good night (755) Bad night (2037)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?

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  (503): Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to? http://tfl.nu/5ylh
  Replies (1) Good night (718) Bad night (296)

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