Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you

(386): View more from Florida

girlfriend?

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(208): View more from Idaho

U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"

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(613): View more from Ontario

ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(920): View more from Wisconsin

The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking

(920): View more from Wisconsin

All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo

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(916): View more from California

Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?

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(916): View more from California

Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing

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(706): View more from Georgia

I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell

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