as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
