You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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