She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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