how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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