love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
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Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.