he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.