Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.