nut hugger
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
