if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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