Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
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