It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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