im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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