would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
