I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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