i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
