Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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