You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
