I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
