I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize