Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
