he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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