every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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