i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
