How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
can u get pink eye on your cock?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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