Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
