Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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