It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
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literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
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Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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