It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
