matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
