its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
