sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
how does that bad decision feel?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
