is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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