this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was CRYING into my vagina
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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