So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
