he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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