you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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