beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
