suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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