yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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