the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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