And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
