I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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