first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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