I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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