So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
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I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
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You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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