She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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