Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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