Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
