At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
