I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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