oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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