My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize